Does a Moustache Make a Man Smarter?

That is the question asked by Moustache Aficionados around the world. It adds class, style, and suave sophistication, but… intelligence?


Longtime friend of the Aficionado, Dizz McGruber, shows us that with age comes wisdom, and with wisdom comes a sweet, sweet moustache. This moustache has transformed a young man from a naive, saucy-bacon eater to a bourbon swigging, cigar smoking, tough-loving kind of man.

When asked for the time, he checks a gold stop watch, hanging from a length of galvanized, high-test anchor rode.

When asked for directions, he draws a map in the sand with the pinpoint accuracy of an ancient Greek cartographer.

When asked for a ride… he complies.

It may not add IQ points, but a perfectly coiffed moustache certainly envelops a man in an air of sophisticated panache that no high-end community college program could dream of offering.


Thank you Dizz, for teaching all of us the ways of the 'mo.

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Think you've got what it takes to be a Moustache Aficionado? Submit your 'mo to themoustacheaficionado@gmail.com.