Wednesday, December 19, 2012

How to Make a Moustache Sandwich (Moustachewich)

Some sneaky person decided to be clever and give me a moustache mould for Christmas. I've always thought the post-2010 explosion of Urban Outfitters style moustache gifts to be a shameless commercialization of our time honoured art form, but… this thing is pretty sweet.

moustache mould

How to Make a Moustachewich (Moustache Sandwich)

1. Cut the Bread
Or in this case, bun. I used a white hoagie for this, but I'm not racist; multigrain, whole wheat or black rye, it's all good. Press hard and get a nice clean curly stache' bread, then pop that upper-lip sweater in the toaster till lightly Hulk Hoganed (golden).

moustache bread

2. Egg o'Clock
Fire up your pan on high, place the moustache mould, then fill with a solid whack of butter. Olive oil is a suitable substitute for girls, vegans and the lactose intolerant. Once hot, crack that egg like Emeril - BAM!

moustache egg

3. Assembly
Grab your toasty hoagie, add your fried-to-perfection egg, and don't forget your holey-mo'-ly swiss cheese. Add a few dashes of hottie sauce and a cool clean swathe of mayo (optional. But I love me some mayo).

moustache cheese

4. Destruction
Pour yourself a nice glass of single malt, turn on that Miles Davis, grab some light reading (Cigar Aficionado, The Economist and Playboy are all valid choices), and enjoy.

Then go make yourself a steak because you're still hungry.

moustache sandwich

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