Monday, November 16, 2009

Rules of the road. Rocky Road

As of late, people have been asking me all the time,

“Hey Moustache Aficionado! How do I grow such a lush, intimidating, flowery-smelling moustache like yours?”

Now the simple answer is; you can’t. You just can’t. Only I can.

But I like you, so I’m willing to help you out here. Now, growing a moustache is not like an original Nintendo Entertainment System (NES). It’s not something you can pick up off of craigslist for free, no matter how hard you try (believe me, I have tried. Shit is flying like hot cakes!). No, instead it is like a fine cheese, like a bleu or stilton; it requires a good upbringing and a lot of time spent in the ideal conditions. Subjected to all those years in front of the tele watching shows like Cheers and Magnum P.I. has granted me the divine power to grow the ultimate cookie duster this side of 2005.

Or you can try this. Grandma always has the answer, right?

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