Moustache Mugshot - Aficionado of the Month

"License and registration, please"

Four simple words that can rattle the bones of even the most unflinching of men. A confrontation with authority that can only offer two outcomes, the most likely of which typically results in catastrophic financial ruin. Armed with only your wits and a quick tongue, how can you level the playing field in the game of man vs. ticket?

The fairer sex frequently flaunt it if they got it, shaking what their mama gave them in an attempt to appeal to the male officers' carnal cravings, sprinkling in a dash of pity on the side. But in the absence of such assets, how can man emerge on top?


Following the age old advice of " keep you friends close and your enemies closer", Darin Sales cultivates a common ground with the highway patrol man by procuring a full fledged facial friend not seen since the likes of March Aficionado of the Month and older brother, Mark Sales. Well groomed whisps of sub nasal growth evoke memories of hickory smoked bacon on beef, a glass of Alberta Pure whiskey on ice, and a terry cloth bathrobe aged to perfection on the back of its master. A moustache revered by all men of the road, nay, all men and women of the world. 

So the next time you catch the flashing red and blue in your rear view, think fast and grow faster; the Moustache may save your life. 


Think you have what it takes to be the next Moustache Aficionado of the Month? Send your 'stache to themoustacheaficionado@gmail.com

The Biggest Moustache Ever - Mark Sales

With his trademark salt-and-pepper nose bow tie and a hand cannon that would make Dirty Harry dump in his diapers, Mark Sales shows the world that, indeed, a good mo' does not die young.

Frequent visitors to The Moustache Aficionado may recall this fluffed yet firm sub-nasal masterpiece from its previous appearance as October 2012's Aficionado of the Month, where we lauded its rich ombre colour composition and sheer girth that would make an orca whale cower in fear.

Following his last appearance, Mark proceeded to do the unthinkable and shave off his lip mitten, an act that resulted in the cries of "heresy!" from many a fool. However, not one to disappoint, Mark's nose-neighbour rose from the stubbly ashes of moustaches past and flew like the fiery hair phoenix it is into first place in his workplace's Movember challenge, easily crushing feeble attempts by his colleagues at Joe's Magnum Emporium Gun Store and Shoe Shine.

Congratulations Mark Sales, the March 2013 Moustache Aficionado of the Month; an inspiration to us all.

Don't forget to submit your growth to themoustacheaficionado@gmail.com for your chance to be the next Aficionado of the Month.

Moustache Aficionado of the Month - Al O'Carrol

Al O’Carrol was discovered at a diner called The Fisted Pig; he was knocking back his fourth serving of deep fried anaconda with a printed-out picture of David Lee Roth stapled to it and a sparkler sticking out of each eye. After introducing myself, he ordered a pint of vermouth that he had to wring out of a Hawaiian shirt, and we went back to his caravan for a chat. His moustache is modelled on the ergo-handlebar design of a ten-speed Apollo racing bike with the texture of a thick, heavily used mariners rope. Thanks for sharing your beautiful moustache with us Al, you greasy bastard.


Don’t forget to send your pictures through to themoustacheaficionado@gmail.com, and you too could be the next Aficionado of the Month!

Free Moustaches

At the Moustache Aficionado, we like making people smile. Whether it's silly pictures, commenting on sweet supple 'staches, hanging out with cool chicks, or giving away free goodies, we simply will not stop until your lips are either smiling or hairy (or both).

That's why we decided to start off 2013 with a giveaway. The first contest of 2013 went off this week on our Facebook page with Greg Condon being the big winner. Check out his winning caption below.

So if you like smiling, winning things, or being hairy, stick around; we've got some things in store for you.

-The Moustache Aficionado

PS. Don't forget to submit your 'mo to themoustacheaficionado@gmail.com