Four simple words that can rattle the bones of even the most unflinching of men. A confrontation with authority that can only offer two outcomes, the most likely of which typically results in catastrophic financial ruin. Armed with only your wits and a quick tongue, how can you level the playing field in the game of man vs. ticket?
The fairer sex frequently flaunt it if they got it, shaking what their mama gave them in an attempt to appeal to the male officers' carnal cravings, sprinkling in a dash of pity on the side. But in the absence of such assets, how can man emerge on top?
Following the age old advice of " keep you friends close and your enemies closer", Darin Sales cultivates a common ground with the highway patrol man by procuring a full fledged facial friend not seen since the likes of March Aficionado of the Month and older brother, Mark Sales. Well groomed whisps of sub nasal growth evoke memories of hickory smoked bacon on beef, a glass of Alberta Pure whiskey on ice, and a terry cloth bathrobe aged to perfection on the back of its master. A moustache revered by all men of the road, nay, all men and women of the world.
So the next time you catch the flashing red and blue in your rear view, think fast and grow faster; the Moustache may save your life.
Think you have what it takes to be the next Moustache Aficionado of the Month? Send your 'stache to email@example.com